It's okay Russia, American holidays are confusing

(found in a grocery store next to evropeskii...apparently the easter bunny is having more than just a few time zone issues)

...what Natalia, Tamara's youngest daughter, just said to me...

"You know what? Even if you're really smart you might not know everything because you know what?  You know what?  'Cause school isn't everything, there might be some secrets too!"


Natalia is home sick from school.  She has decided just now to make a much belated christmas list (sorry Tamara!  I told her that Santa was probably really busy right now, but she says she'll try anyway) and every once-in-a-while she'll come up with a gem like this.  


For example:
We have also discussed the fact that no one has ever seen a picture of Santa, and she considered the possibility of googling a santa picture then passing it off as the real deal for some kind of gain.  
She also gave me a 5 minute summary of the plot to a movie that sounds like the Russian equivalent of "The Labyrinth" (except trippier) and told me about the magical santa candle that makes her fall asleep when she's angry.


I am trying my absolute hardest not to burst out laughing when she says these things, but it's so endearing.  


p.s. she just told me that the world "is...is bigger than 10,000 buildings!"

Shhh it's a secret!!

Yesterday a little 3rd grade boy with spiked hair and glasses hopped down the stairs to find me in the administrators office at school, and triumphantly stated "I know you secret!!"

Some quick background- this boy is one of the kids who heard me speaking Russian with Dasha (the school secretary) a week ago and proceeded to stare dumbfounded at his friend, leading me to stop in my tracks and motion for Dasha to come closer so I could whisper.  It was clear he had overheard us, however.  

During class yesterday he occasionally shouted out his comments in Russian, and I would quickly remind him that I couldn't understand, then move on.  It was later that day that he cornered me in the office- all 4 feet of this 8 year old boy- and told me again "I know you secret!"  I played dumb, and said "What do you mean, you know my secret?  What secrets do I have?" and told his friend who had accompanied him to go outside before whispering to me:

 "You perfectly speaking Russian!"  

My first inclination was to deny it- which I quickly realized was silly, as he had heard me.  I then compromised and said (truthfully) "Well, I speak a little..."  

He responded "No, I hear you!  You speak perfectly!"  He was beaming from ear to ear with sneaky glee. 

I opened my mouth again to set the record straight, but then slowly changed my mind and smiled.  So what?  One 3rd grade boy out there thinks that I speak perfect Russian.  I have no opportunity to disprove him, and you know what?  I'm not going to lie, it kind of makes me feel good.  So instead I motioned for him to come closer and whispered "Ok, you know my secret...but let's keep it a secret, just between us, alright?"  He smiled a little bucktoothed smile and nodded, before skipping out of the office and into the heavily-decorated, christmas-themed hallway.  

Moral of the story: it's nice to know that someone out there is convinced of my perfect language capabilities :)

The Wild Beasts of Moscow (aka Ляля, the wondercat)

Interestingly enough, the animals I've come into contact with here have been some of the most pampered, fully domesticated creatures I've ever met.

 Take for example, Chester- the happy, wriggly bilingual ball of fur that resides with Sasha and co. (stepfamily!).   He's a big friendly mush who would probably think the world was ending if his late-afternoon dinner did not arrive on time.

Every dog I've seen on the street (with the exception of the subway-riding "feral" dogs) is usually dressed to the nines, in more stylish and weather-appropriate clothing than anything I own.  Seriously, even the dogs are more dolled up than me.  

To be fair, the school I work at is located in a fairly posh neighborhood, but honestly- even the pigeons look obese and happy (a strange contrast with the usually delicate, waifishly-thin Moscow ladies I've seen.  I feel like the solution to this strange contrast is somewhere in the problem...)

Anyway, my new best-furry-friend is an incredibly soft, beautiful cat named Ляля (Lya-lya).  He belongs to Tamara's daughter, Katya, and like many pets I've had at some point or another he is perfectly content with his mix-gendered name.  

Here is a picture of Ляля on his special washing machine perch:

Warmest spot in the house.

Sweet kitty lovin'

Ляля's favorite place is in the warmth of the bathroom, where he usually has the occupant's full attention.  He has even perfected the "why have you FORSAKEN me??" look that comes when he realizes that he has missed showertime.  Usually he just sits on his washing machine throne, but sometimes he strolls around his "kingdom" exploring the toiletries, and he once almost jumped into the shower with me in hopes of good head-scratching.  

Unfortunately, for all of his sweetness and almost stalker-like devotion, Ляля is not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.  For example, Tamara calls him the "$3000 cat" due to the fact that he ate a plastic toy which then had to be surgically removed.  And no, not just once- three times.  

Ляля also has a kissing problem.  Literally.  He wants to kiss everything.  During showertime he will kiss the mirror, the faucet, and once tried to kiss my toothbrush.  The other day he was, well, what can only be described as "making out" with a plastic bag.  Like I said- Lyalya is just a "few fries short of a happy meal," ifyouknowwhatI'msaying- but still one of the most lovable little fellows I've met.

you know you're a regular when...

every time i enter starbucks, the woman at the cash register says something like "Ah, Шарлотта!  Что ты хочешь сегодня?" (Ah, Charlotte!  What do you want today?) or "Снова, Шарлотта?" ("again, Charlotte?"- usually on the second cup of coffee...).

i usually go because it's right next to the metro station closest to the school where i teach, and it's a nice, quiet place to get work done while spreading a $5 cappuccino over the course of three hours.  it's pretty much my 3-times-a-week splurge on myself (and a perfect respite from the -20 degree weather-with-windchill that we've been having).
oftentimes i see the ballerinas from the Bolshoi Academy taking breaks from their rigorous dance schedules to come by for a cup (the school is literally 2 blocks away), so it's a pretty interesting mix of people.

plus the coffee has actually been pretty good!  and that's key.
in the very thoughtfully, carefully chosen words of Natalia (Tamara's 7 year old daughter): "I guess coffee is relaxing...it's like being in a hot tub...but you don't get wet."  i love it.

but charLOHtah, you don't speak russian!

One of the funnier stories since I've gotten here took place just the other day when I was teaching a 5th grade class (I teach one guest class per week in the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th, and 8th grades).

The 3rd-5th grade classes have been told that I don't speak ANY Russian, so that they won't even be tempted to use Russian in the classroom (as a big believer in immersion studies, I'm all for this).  Every time they ask me a question or clarify something using Russian I tell them "I'm sorry, I don't understand Russian.  You're going to have to tell me in English!"- no matter how tempted I might be to take the easy way and address their concern head on.

So the other day we were going over vocabulary from a reading I brought in on "Street Art", and we came upon the word "energetic."  Without thinking it through, I said to the class "energetic- it sounds just like the russian word, энергичный, right?"  

Immediately one of the children called out with clear conviction, as if to let me down kindly: "but charLOHtah, you don't SPEAK Russian."  I caught myself and without a beat said "you're right I don't, sorry" and the lesson went on as if nothing had happened (except for my quickly stifled laughter).

It's getting harder and harder to keep up the charade though, as half of the teachers in the lower school communicate with me in Russian (two 3rd graders overheard a conversation I was having with the school secretary today, and they stopped dead in their tracks and stared wide-eyed at each other.  not sure how to smooth THAT one over...)

In other news I've recently made friends with the other American girl around my age who is teaching at the school.  We spent time together last weekend, and went to TGIF (oh yes, they have TGIF in Moscow) along with her housemate Jeffrey- also a new friend (hooray for new friends!).  Anyway, I've spent a bunch of time with the two of them and am having a lot of fun.  Also they are both from Portland and love adventures and traveling too.

Margarita and winking action.

Jen and I

Still on the hunt for an apartment, so if you know anyone living in Moscow, preferably in the southwestern region, and preferably Russian speaking, please let me know!  Although I suppose beggars can't be choosers.  Tamara and her family have been incredibly kind and welcoming, but I'd hate to have to impose on them for too much longer. 

In other news, moscow is freezing and I am truly experiencing a new kind of cold.  Oh boy I need to find some long johns (and/or a full body parka?)