Lessons from a hyperactive 5 year old.

Two times a week I tutor a little 5 year old boy named Misha who is, minus a basic understanding of two or three songs and the alphabet, a brand new English speaker. 

Going into a tutoring lesson with a five year old is more or less like entering a battlefield, and I’ve learned a few tricks along the way that have helped us to come out of our lessons alive, and with each of us having learned something new (his newfound knowledge having to do with English, mine having to do with teaching, persuasion, and self-defense techniques).

Here are some things I have learned:

First of all, you’ve got to take stock of your weaponry and defenses before battle, and of your opponents weaknesses. 

For example:

Misha is working with:

-Extreme distractibility

-More energy than a puppy on speed

-Astonishingly good aim, and an alarming willingness to throw whatever small object he finds near him…at me

-Overwhelming cuteness

In my corner, I have:

-Ability to distract (I’ve learned it works both ways!)

-Educational songs (these have a magical power over 5 year olds, as I’ll explain in a minute)

-Quick reflexes and superior strength

The following is a recounting of yesterdays lesson, where the full battery of attack and defense mechanisms was put to use:

-When we first started off the lesson, I tried to help him shake out some energy with a song that involves movement.  We were both in sync, using English, and all smiles at this point.

Soon Misha was darting around the room- the dance movements turned into a full on tumbling, running, flipping session.  I managed to convince him to slow down with a game of Dominos, which went very well for about 20 minutes.  Misha was using more and more English, and only threw two dominoes at me.  So far, it was a success!

After 20 minutes of dominoes, I move back to play a song (it’s a good way to break up lessons for him, usually).  But instead of singing, Misha decided to engage in his second favorite activity- hiding.  After some stern attempts at persuasion, I switched to my distractibility defense.  At this point his head was shoved between the couch and the wall, and his legs were dangling in the air (also not an uncommon situation), and I pulled out an “ABC” book.  With the enthusiasm that one usually reserves for a really fantastic gift or, I don’t know, winning the lottery, I “oohed” and “ahhed” over the book and gasped at the simple pictures of apples, balls, ducks and crocodiles.  Misha managed to extract himself from the crevice and came over to investigate, curious as to what could possibly be so interesting (I could have been holding a brick and he still would have come over.) 

Since the lesson last week, whenever he doesn’t want to do something he has started saying ‘SNOW!’  instead of “NO!”  Unfortunately this is adorable, and catches me off guard. 

However, almost every question I ask at this point, Misha responds to with “SNOW!”

So he was engaged with the book for maybe 5 minutes, then returned to yet another crack between the couch and the wall, smushing his face against a painting.

Out of ideas, I decided pull out my secret weapon- singing.  It’s like a magic spell. Misha CAN’T not sing, no matter how much he doesn’t want to.

So I start singing “The Wheels on the Bus,” and Misha joins in quietly, trying to resist.   A few times he yells “молчите!!», or “be quiet!!” but it’s no use.  He must give into the singing.

Finally at the end of the lesson, I decided to negotiate with Misha.

Our conversation went as follows (in Russian, except when in bold)

Me: So, what should we do during the next lesson?

Misha: I’m thinking…puppets!!  You bring the puppets and we will put on a show!

Me: Ok, but it has to be an English show.

Misha: Pony puppets!!!!!

Me: Ok…and we can sing some songs?

Misha: SNOW!!!

Me: Snow?

Misha: (giggling) Snow…

I'd say we're moving in the right direction...