Spring timmmmmme for Mos-cowww and Ruu-ussiaaaaa

В конце концов, весна пришла!!!  Слава богу...

Spring in Moscow means a lot of elements of life here that I haven't seen yet are popping up like daisies (or how I imagine daisies pop-up...haven't really seen any flowers here that aren't wrapped in wax paper and sold for a small fortune on the street). 

I've managed to mentally and photographically compile a small list that seemed like it might be worth sharing. 

So without further ado, first impressions of SPRINGTIME in MOSCOW:

Rollerblades.  Everywhere

The mullets!  Oh, the mullets...this is not a springtime phenomenon, but lately they seem to be taking over the city. 

Как дела, ladies?

Many couples have taken their PDA (emphasis on the P) from the metro escalators to the streets.

Much like the couples, the Moscow strays (cats and dogs) have moved their activities from the metros and переходы (underground crosswalks) to the streets above.  I KNOW I KNOW I shouldn’t try to make friends with them.  Sigh.

A cute kitty I found on Космодамянская наб.

A larger portion of the drinking in Moscow has been moved from excessively-heated, stuffy apartments out into the gorgeous spring weather.  This has led to an increase in scenes like the one below:

I see the same old situation by this same bench every thursday.  Someone takes humpday (night) pretty seriously, I guess. 

Мороженое!! (Ice cream!)  Little stands like Айсберри (Ice berry- transliterated) are finally making some money- and deservedly so. 

No, I did not take this picture.  But вот!!  У нас есть visual representation!

Hooded crows.  Ok, not sure if these are new but I didn't see them around in the winter.  Actually I'll check their migration pattern on wikipedia to verify- and to make sure I can avoid any possible contact with them in the future.  They are terrifyingly huge and have the coordination of pigeons, which have a tendancy to mistake your face for sky and fly directly into you.  Or maybe that's just me?   Sorry Moscow, but you have some stupid pigeons.   

Terrifying.  Taken from afar, just how National Geographic photographers capture images of equally dangerous animals...like lions.

Переход singers!  I’ve heard all sorts of traditional Russian songs and folk tunes in the metros and переходы.  A friend of mine in Petersburg actually has a really wonderful story about singing and playing guitar recently on Невский проспект with a friend.   I’m a fan.

A marked increase in daydreaming students- but who can blame them?  The weather is gorgeous, everyone can feel summer approaching, and motivation is harder to come by. 

Lovely 8:45pm sunset on the Moscow River.  

That's all for now I guess.   More later!

Верные Друзья???

In English, the title of this post translates to mean either* "Loyal Friends" or "Faithful Friends," which happens to be the name of the calendar that Emily (my roommate) bought for our kitchen.  Each month the calendar shows a picture of two animals, whose relationship supposedly reflects the spirit of the name and calendar theme.  

It was just three days ago that Emily showed me the calendar, and after some joint effort we managed to attach it to the wall.  We then stood back to admire the supposedly beautiful friendship between the two fluffy January bunny rabbits…only to realize that these creatures appear to be anything but friends.  They're shoved together in an artificial-looking still life with hastily bundled carrots and a background of hazy Christmas tree decorations.  On top of that, each appears to be only vaguely aware of the other's presence.  Emily was quick to point out that if the calendar followed the same theme, but with people, the equivalent photograph would be a picture of "you and your weird uncle standing awkwardly apart from each other in the same room.”  Whatever you might call them, these were NOT Верные Друзья.

We continued to flip through the pages in the calendar in search of absolutely верные друзья...only to realize that all of the animals appeared to be either entirely indifferent to each other, or were acknowledging each others' presence in the same way citizens of Moscow relate to each other on the metro: in a fleeting, noncommittal way.  We were disappointed to say the least.

However, rather than waste such a purchase we decided to rectify the creator’s mistake by adding dialogue to each picture in order to honestly represent the nature of the friendship being portrayed.  So I bought a pack of sharpies at Библио-Глобус, the fantastic bookstore near the Лубянка metro stop, and we proceeded to deface the calendar and wound up with the image below:

Only the day before our artistic addition, we also found an absolutely EPIC calendar featuring a single picture of Putin, decked out in full Moscow winter garb and staring beyond a pair of absurdly large binoculars into some distant future in which Russia has finally been given global appreciation for it’s victory in WWII**.  We managed to juxtaposition the two pictures in the kitchen so that Putin’s distant yet powerful stare would be directed exactly towards the picture of the animal “friends”.

(note...image has been edited based on a song from a 90s TV show that Emily and I sometimes sing)

While it’s only a small contribution to the décor of the apartment, I have to say it is by far my favorite.  Now, if only we actually used either of the calendars…

*An example of the difference between these two words: today during class we were practicing adjectives, and one woman described her husband as being верный, while another described her cat with the same adjective.  A crude example of the subtleties of translation...

**In both my and Emily’s experience, many Russians have demanded acknowledgement of their winning WWII as if...well, as if this was something we care just as much as they do.  Go figure. 

(BONUS PIC: look this is Emily!!!)

Lessons from a hyperactive 5 year old.

Two times a week I tutor a little 5 year old boy named Misha who is, minus a basic understanding of two or three songs and the alphabet, a brand new English speaker. 

Going into a tutoring lesson with a five year old is more or less like entering a battlefield, and I’ve learned a few tricks along the way that have helped us to come out of our lessons alive, and with each of us having learned something new (his newfound knowledge having to do with English, mine having to do with teaching, persuasion, and self-defense techniques).

Here are some things I have learned:

First of all, you’ve got to take stock of your weaponry and defenses before battle, and of your opponents weaknesses. 

For example:

Misha is working with:

-Extreme distractibility

-More energy than a puppy on speed

-Astonishingly good aim, and an alarming willingness to throw whatever small object he finds near him…at me

-Overwhelming cuteness

In my corner, I have:

-Ability to distract (I’ve learned it works both ways!)

-Educational songs (these have a magical power over 5 year olds, as I’ll explain in a minute)

-Quick reflexes and superior strength

The following is a recounting of yesterdays lesson, where the full battery of attack and defense mechanisms was put to use:

-When we first started off the lesson, I tried to help him shake out some energy with a song that involves movement.  We were both in sync, using English, and all smiles at this point.

Soon Misha was darting around the room- the dance movements turned into a full on tumbling, running, flipping session.  I managed to convince him to slow down with a game of Dominos, which went very well for about 20 minutes.  Misha was using more and more English, and only threw two dominoes at me.  So far, it was a success!

After 20 minutes of dominoes, I move back to play a song (it’s a good way to break up lessons for him, usually).  But instead of singing, Misha decided to engage in his second favorite activity- hiding.  After some stern attempts at persuasion, I switched to my distractibility defense.  At this point his head was shoved between the couch and the wall, and his legs were dangling in the air (also not an uncommon situation), and I pulled out an “ABC” book.  With the enthusiasm that one usually reserves for a really fantastic gift or, I don’t know, winning the lottery, I “oohed” and “ahhed” over the book and gasped at the simple pictures of apples, balls, ducks and crocodiles.  Misha managed to extract himself from the crevice and came over to investigate, curious as to what could possibly be so interesting (I could have been holding a brick and he still would have come over.) 

Since the lesson last week, whenever he doesn’t want to do something he has started saying ‘SNOW!’  instead of “NO!”  Unfortunately this is adorable, and catches me off guard. 

However, almost every question I ask at this point, Misha responds to with “SNOW!”

So he was engaged with the book for maybe 5 minutes, then returned to yet another crack between the couch and the wall, smushing his face against a painting.

Out of ideas, I decided pull out my secret weapon- singing.  It’s like a magic spell. Misha CAN’T not sing, no matter how much he doesn’t want to.

So I start singing “The Wheels on the Bus,” and Misha joins in quietly, trying to resist.   A few times he yells “молчите!!», or “be quiet!!” but it’s no use.  He must give into the singing.

Finally at the end of the lesson, I decided to negotiate with Misha.

Our conversation went as follows (in Russian, except when in bold)

Me: So, what should we do during the next lesson?

Misha: I’m thinking…puppets!!  You bring the puppets and we will put on a show!

Me: Ok, but it has to be an English show.

Misha: Pony puppets!!!!!

Me: Ok…and we can sing some songs?

Misha: SNOW!!!

Me: Snow?

Misha: (giggling) Snow…

I'd say we're moving in the right direction...

It's okay Russia, American holidays are confusing

(found in a grocery store next to evropeskii...apparently the easter bunny is having more than just a few time zone issues)

...what Natalia, Tamara's youngest daughter, just said to me...

"You know what? Even if you're really smart you might not know everything because you know what?  You know what?  'Cause school isn't everything, there might be some secrets too!"


Natalia is home sick from school.  She has decided just now to make a much belated christmas list (sorry Tamara!  I told her that Santa was probably really busy right now, but she says she'll try anyway) and every once-in-a-while she'll come up with a gem like this.  


For example:
We have also discussed the fact that no one has ever seen a picture of Santa, and she considered the possibility of googling a santa picture then passing it off as the real deal for some kind of gain.  
She also gave me a 5 minute summary of the plot to a movie that sounds like the Russian equivalent of "The Labyrinth" (except trippier) and told me about the magical santa candle that makes her fall asleep when she's angry.


I am trying my absolute hardest not to burst out laughing when she says these things, but it's so endearing.  


p.s. she just told me that the world "is...is bigger than 10,000 buildings!"

Shhh it's a secret!!

Yesterday a little 3rd grade boy with spiked hair and glasses hopped down the stairs to find me in the administrators office at school, and triumphantly stated "I know you secret!!"

Some quick background- this boy is one of the kids who heard me speaking Russian with Dasha (the school secretary) a week ago and proceeded to stare dumbfounded at his friend, leading me to stop in my tracks and motion for Dasha to come closer so I could whisper.  It was clear he had overheard us, however.  

During class yesterday he occasionally shouted out his comments in Russian, and I would quickly remind him that I couldn't understand, then move on.  It was later that day that he cornered me in the office- all 4 feet of this 8 year old boy- and told me again "I know you secret!"  I played dumb, and said "What do you mean, you know my secret?  What secrets do I have?" and told his friend who had accompanied him to go outside before whispering to me:

 "You perfectly speaking Russian!"  

My first inclination was to deny it- which I quickly realized was silly, as he had heard me.  I then compromised and said (truthfully) "Well, I speak a little..."  

He responded "No, I hear you!  You speak perfectly!"  He was beaming from ear to ear with sneaky glee. 

I opened my mouth again to set the record straight, but then slowly changed my mind and smiled.  So what?  One 3rd grade boy out there thinks that I speak perfect Russian.  I have no opportunity to disprove him, and you know what?  I'm not going to lie, it kind of makes me feel good.  So instead I motioned for him to come closer and whispered "Ok, you know my secret...but let's keep it a secret, just between us, alright?"  He smiled a little bucktoothed smile and nodded, before skipping out of the office and into the heavily-decorated, christmas-themed hallway.  

Moral of the story: it's nice to know that someone out there is convinced of my perfect language capabilities :)

The Wild Beasts of Moscow (aka Ляля, the wondercat)

Interestingly enough, the animals I've come into contact with here have been some of the most pampered, fully domesticated creatures I've ever met.

 Take for example, Chester- the happy, wriggly bilingual ball of fur that resides with Sasha and co. (stepfamily!).   He's a big friendly mush who would probably think the world was ending if his late-afternoon dinner did not arrive on time.

Every dog I've seen on the street (with the exception of the subway-riding "feral" dogs) is usually dressed to the nines, in more stylish and weather-appropriate clothing than anything I own.  Seriously, even the dogs are more dolled up than me.  

To be fair, the school I work at is located in a fairly posh neighborhood, but honestly- even the pigeons look obese and happy (a strange contrast with the usually delicate, waifishly-thin Moscow ladies I've seen.  I feel like the solution to this strange contrast is somewhere in the problem...)

Anyway, my new best-furry-friend is an incredibly soft, beautiful cat named Ляля (Lya-lya).  He belongs to Tamara's daughter, Katya, and like many pets I've had at some point or another he is perfectly content with his mix-gendered name.  

Here is a picture of Ляля on his special washing machine perch:

Warmest spot in the house.

Sweet kitty lovin'

Ляля's favorite place is in the warmth of the bathroom, where he usually has the occupant's full attention.  He has even perfected the "why have you FORSAKEN me??" look that comes when he realizes that he has missed showertime.  Usually he just sits on his washing machine throne, but sometimes he strolls around his "kingdom" exploring the toiletries, and he once almost jumped into the shower with me in hopes of good head-scratching.  

Unfortunately, for all of his sweetness and almost stalker-like devotion, Ляля is not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.  For example, Tamara calls him the "$3000 cat" due to the fact that he ate a plastic toy which then had to be surgically removed.  And no, not just once- three times.  

Ляля also has a kissing problem.  Literally.  He wants to kiss everything.  During showertime he will kiss the mirror, the faucet, and once tried to kiss my toothbrush.  The other day he was, well, what can only be described as "making out" with a plastic bag.  Like I said- Lyalya is just a "few fries short of a happy meal," ifyouknowwhatI'msaying- but still one of the most lovable little fellows I've met.

you know you're a regular when...

every time i enter starbucks, the woman at the cash register says something like "Ah, Шарлотта!  Что ты хочешь сегодня?" (Ah, Charlotte!  What do you want today?) or "Снова, Шарлотта?" ("again, Charlotte?"- usually on the second cup of coffee...).

i usually go because it's right next to the metro station closest to the school where i teach, and it's a nice, quiet place to get work done while spreading a $5 cappuccino over the course of three hours.  it's pretty much my 3-times-a-week splurge on myself (and a perfect respite from the -20 degree weather-with-windchill that we've been having).
oftentimes i see the ballerinas from the Bolshoi Academy taking breaks from their rigorous dance schedules to come by for a cup (the school is literally 2 blocks away), so it's a pretty interesting mix of people.

plus the coffee has actually been pretty good!  and that's key.
in the very thoughtfully, carefully chosen words of Natalia (Tamara's 7 year old daughter): "I guess coffee is relaxing...it's like being in a hot tub...but you don't get wet."  i love it.

but charLOHtah, you don't speak russian!

One of the funnier stories since I've gotten here took place just the other day when I was teaching a 5th grade class (I teach one guest class per week in the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th, and 8th grades).

The 3rd-5th grade classes have been told that I don't speak ANY Russian, so that they won't even be tempted to use Russian in the classroom (as a big believer in immersion studies, I'm all for this).  Every time they ask me a question or clarify something using Russian I tell them "I'm sorry, I don't understand Russian.  You're going to have to tell me in English!"- no matter how tempted I might be to take the easy way and address their concern head on.

So the other day we were going over vocabulary from a reading I brought in on "Street Art", and we came upon the word "energetic."  Without thinking it through, I said to the class "energetic- it sounds just like the russian word, энергичный, right?"  

Immediately one of the children called out with clear conviction, as if to let me down kindly: "but charLOHtah, you don't SPEAK Russian."  I caught myself and without a beat said "you're right I don't, sorry" and the lesson went on as if nothing had happened (except for my quickly stifled laughter).

It's getting harder and harder to keep up the charade though, as half of the teachers in the lower school communicate with me in Russian (two 3rd graders overheard a conversation I was having with the school secretary today, and they stopped dead in their tracks and stared wide-eyed at each other.  not sure how to smooth THAT one over...)

In other news I've recently made friends with the other American girl around my age who is teaching at the school.  We spent time together last weekend, and went to TGIF (oh yes, they have TGIF in Moscow) along with her housemate Jeffrey- also a new friend (hooray for new friends!).  Anyway, I've spent a bunch of time with the two of them and am having a lot of fun.  Also they are both from Portland and love adventures and traveling too.

Margarita and winking action.

Jen and I

Still on the hunt for an apartment, so if you know anyone living in Moscow, preferably in the southwestern region, and preferably Russian speaking, please let me know!  Although I suppose beggars can't be choosers.  Tamara and her family have been incredibly kind and welcoming, but I'd hate to have to impose on them for too much longer. 

In other news, moscow is freezing and I am truly experiencing a new kind of cold.  Oh boy I need to find some long johns (and/or a full body parka?)

Adventures in housing (aka do you know anyone looking for a flatmate in moscow?)

Sooo it seems that my life here is continuing to change in unexpected ways.

Here is a brief update of my last couple of weeks here in Moskva:

First I was living with a family (SITUATION #1)
Pros:
-Totally loved Sasha and Artyom, the two children
-Located next to a pretty park
-Outside of the city, so dark and quiet at night
-Really liked Misha, the family driver, and we got along super well (yah family driver, these guys are loaded)

Cons:
-Mom thought of me as the kid's tutor and treated me as she would "hired help" (did not talk to me, rarely made eye contact, vaguely incapable of smiling except towards the end when she would do this painful wince-face that was, I think, smiling)
-Far from school/the center of the city
-I did not have a key...or furniture for that matter (just a mattress on the floor)
-I really, really, really wanted to work on my Russian- but wasn't supposed to be speaking it

SO moral of the story, I ended up leaving under friendly circumstances, I guess- the mom realized I was really busy and got wind of my work schedule and differing expectations, so she told me about an apartment that a friend of a friend was renting out for 10,000 rubles (sweet deal!) right across from the highschool.  Sweet deal, right?...?  So I was given a week to try out the apartment without paying and to decide by the end whether or not I wanted to live there.

SITUATION #2:
Pros:
-Living with an older, babushka type who taught me a lot about the traditional cultural wisdom of Soviet Russia
-Across from the school!!
-Evgenya (babushka/хозяйка) fed me and treated me more or less like a племяница or внучка or something (niece or granddaughter), which was sweet
-Authentic soviet russian apartment- communal bathroom, one working sink in the whole apt (with 3 people), kitchen in disrepair, refrigerator: space between the kitchen window and the screen, etc., super old furnishings

Cons:
-The story below (which occurred 5 days after moving in to test the waters):
I went out late thursday night with a friend and came back tipsy (it had been a long and stressful week and I didn't have classes until 2pm the next day, ok?)
The door was locked from the inside in a way that I could not open with my key (??? confusing).  So she got up to let me in.  I felt really bad about it and planned on apologizing the next day.
When I got home the next day from school, she immediately called me a drunk, continually insulted my upbringing and family, gave me a 10pm curfew, called me "uneducated" as well as some other less-than-pleasant names, told me I was "disordered in the head" and threatened to hit me next time I came back after 10pm.  Then she tried to guilt me into living at the apartment.

...SO...yeah.
I called Tamara (the absolutely wonderful woman who got me the job at the elementary school and pretty much gives me support 24/7) and she offered to pick me up that night, saying "just get out of there."  I left the next morning, after Evgenya had gone to work, and left on note on the table with the money I would have paid for the week.

So basically life has been a bit of an adventure.  There is a sort of natural wondering and guilt lodged in the fact that I have stayed at two places then left (like...uh oh it has to be my fault), but I feel much better now.  Tamara has SO kindly given me the chance to stay at her house with her family until I find a good place to stay (this time I check it out BEFORE staying over).  I hope I can find something soon, but meanwhile I am wildly content to be here.  Tamara is so kind, and her daughters have been so lovely to me.  The apartment is cozy and modern and Tamara has offered a situation where I can both be independent, and incredibly supported and comfortable.  Bonus point: they have two ADORABLE kitties.

Her older daughter Katya (9 years old, I think) in particular has been incredibly sweet.  Just tonight she said to me "I really like you!" and "I know I haven't known you for very long, but I feel like you're my older sister!"  I babysat the girls and we made pasta and watched disney channel, and katya even made me a "Welcome Charlotte!" card.  It was exactly the kind of night that I needed.

Sorry for the long and rambling story, if you read this far then HOORAY!  Tell me and I'll make you cookies next time I see you.

Sorry for the lack of pictures- I'm too lazy to upload from my useless iphone, but I will do so soon!

...

Drinking port and watching twilight in Russian ("Сумерки"):

 

Classiest moment of MY LIFE.

p.s. the biggest photo is meant to represent Russia, and does so surprisingly well.

Холодец...never again

Just tried this dish:

A word to the wise:

If it looks like meat in jello, it moves (UGH) like meat in jello, and people tell you "It's meat in jello"...

It's probably going to taste like meat in jello.

If I try to think of two foods that should NEVER EVER be prepared together, "meat and jello" is right up at the top of my list.  

I like to say that I'd try most things.  But now I feel like gagging/dying a little.

Xolodetz just tied with "headcheese" at the top of my list of foods never to ever eat again ever.  

Moral of the story:

JUST SAY NO

TO MEAT AND JELLO

(catchy right?)

ZEE ZEE TOPE

imagine a person shouting the title of this post.  ok, now multiply that by a couple thousand.
that should give you a small idea of my experience last night.

misha, xenia, alex and i all went to see ZZ Top at the swankiest concert venue i have ever seen.  the crowd was comprised of, as xenia put it, "a part of russia that i have never seen!"  guys with leather pants, denim vests, tattoos, absurd hair (facial and head-type) swarmed the venue.  a couple of guys wore fake beards.  for the uninformed, here is an old picture of ZZ Top that I think personifies who they are as a band:

just beautiful, right?  i spent the better half of the show laughing with misha at the images of trucks, clips from the 70s/80s (their heyday) of scantily clad women with terrible hair dancing around them, and sublimely terrible fake-fire graphics (as well as a few bars and truck stops).  

the rest of the time i spent trying to come up with a good description for what genre they fulfill ("southern glam biker rock" was the best i could come up with) and imagining various possible beard stylings that would be omg so fun to try. 

it was quite an experience.  also it was the first time i have a) made it through the day without a nap and b) stayed up until 11:30 pm!!!!  and i slept until 10:50!!!  huge deal.  i feel like i am finally getting over/overish jetlag, which is thrilling.  although it is kind of weird to think of myself as truly living in a different time zone from so many of the people i love.

here are some pictures that xenia took at the concert:

here are the dudes rocking out.  note the black leather suit covering the sequined shirts underneath.

alex making a face for xenia.

me and xen.  my god you can even tell that she's taller than me in this picture.

i feel short.

anyway, beyond that exciting anecdote, a few funny little notes from the day (yesterday, that is.  right now i'm in pjs and expect to do nothing):

-It snowed!!!  It was pretty but did not stick (except to my hair and jacket and poorly chosen-shoes)

-I dropped Xenia and Alex of at the Anglo-American School (an international school) in the morning and watched the adorable little multicultural parade of children (and some teens) in their halloween costumes.

(the count: 2 harry potters, a highly successful mario and luigi, a couple of caped something-or-others, and way more skeletons than i could count- whats up with that??)

-Read the Moscow Times and decided that i'm a fan.  

Note: my favorite (and the most gruesome) article that I found was about bears up north who had lost their food supply due to the local fires and were now digging up graves.  Locals have expressed concern that the bears have developed "a taste for human flesh"...oh my god that sounds so much worse and morbid than it did in my head.

ALSO they had a great section on the broader/sometimes very narrow meanings of a Russian word.  I think it's a column that some woman does regularly for the Petersburg Times (or at least they print it too).  Heres the one I saw:

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/opinion/article/sharpening-your-knife-and-tongue/421365.html

(Lydia: I really think you'd like this!)

-Realized that if you tilt your head slightly on the impossibly steep and long metro elevators going down, it looks like the people are adopting a gravity defying backwards lean.  The degree of hilarity of this realization changes based on the seriousness of the riders expression.  Fantastic.

-Later note: If you are going up, it gets even better.  It looks like the riders are leaning forwards and sticking their booties out.  HILARIOUS.  Also I am five years old.  Also I will try to get a picture of this.

Ok, more about the host family that I just visited in a bit!!

xoxo

char

Went into Moscow center AND used some capital letters this time! (Big day!!!)

So today was my first day of going into the city and it was FANTASTIC.

I rode into town with Sasha and she told me lots of stories of how the infrastructure and generations of Moscow have changed since she's been here (20 years now!!)  

The conversation turned to the now-super-attractive generation of Russian ladies, and the question of whether or not they'll turn out to look like their babushki.  And of the men- everyone, Russian AND non-Russian, has spoken of the unfortunate qualities of Russian men, which I think is kind of funny. 

Sasha told me all about how when she married Misha (her husband of atleast 15 years) the woman at the marriage registration actually pulled her into another room and asked "Ты уверена, что ты подумала?"-- "Are you sure that you've thought this through?"  Sasha said that she had, and the woman further warned her "Русские мужчины не как американские мужчины"-- "Russian men are not like American men."  

Whether or not this is true, Misha happens to be just wonderful. 

So Sasha dropped me off at her office, and I decided to walk down to the neighborhood where the school that I will be working at is located.  It's hard to say whether this decision was more motivated by my desire to see the city, or my fear of the Russian subway.  

So I walked for an hour and watched the sunrise along the silhouettes of buildings along the way, from Red Square to the southern part of the city.

Ok, rather than write a million potentially boring things about my day, here is a list of the highlights and fun facts that I learned about Moscow:

-I sat in a starbucks (where I met up with a woman from the school) and in the hour that I was there heard both the Shaft theme song, and Blue Ridge Mountains (the former made almost spit out my coffee laughing, and the latter made me almost spit out my coffee from excitement...a lot of close calls there).

-Walked past a club/restaurant named simply "VIP" (which, of course, made me think of the Russian song "Я персона ВИП"- literally, "I am a VIP person"...the department of redundancy department?)

-Experienced a rollercoaster of emotions regarding my Russian abilities, and how I could improve them/not sound like an idiot (excitement, anxiety, etc.) and remembered GFlash Pro, an excellent program that allows you to create flash cards on Google docs and use them on your iPod touch/iPhone.  Слава богу...И Лидиe (who showed me the program in the first place).

-Fell IN LOVE with the school that I will be teaching at- it's a SUPER progressive school, and while it is primarily taught in English, there is a lot of Russian spoken (which will be good for me).  Plus I met with the headmistress who only speaks Russian, and she's lovely!

-Played a version of Duck Duck Goose with little Russian children and realized how useful it is to know Russian in teaching them English (in fact, it was easier to understand their russian than it was the english).  In general I would highly recommend speaking foreign languages with little kids- their vocab is usually pretty simple, and they're easygoing with mistakes.  Also jesus those kids were cute.

Fun fact #1 : Some of the metro stations used to be bomb shelters, so they are like a bajillion feet under the ground.  I only noticed when I had been on the escalator for 45 seconds and was finally like "wait...something is weird here..." and looked down and I was only half way to the bottom.

Fun fact #2: The metro is a lot like the New York subways, but punctual, faster, and more Russian.  

Fun fact #3: Everyone is white here.  This is not so much a fun fact as a slightly depressing one that is reflective/a causative factor of the level of prejudice in the city.

Fun fact #4: I guess #1 was not so much a fun fact either...

Fun fact #5: The slogan for McDonalds here is "Вот, что я люблю!" which means more or less "Here, this is what I love!" but less awkwardly.  Except I always think of Вот (here) as being sort of a heavy and dramatic word, so it kind of makes the slogan hilarious.

Fun fact #6: There is a megastore/supermarket called Ashan named after some French upscale market, which I can only imagine is the exact opposite of this place.  It carries more muumuus and socks than you can shake a stick at, but NO MITTENS WTF???

Fun fact #7: There is a park near the school where I will work called "Нескучный Парк"- literally, "The Not-Boring Park."  What does this say about all of the other parks in Moscow??

OK thats all for now.  I have some pictures but I'm too lazy to upload them/my iPhone cord is like 3 flights up and I'm fighting the afternoon-intense-sleepiness that usually results in jetlag-prolonging-naps (NOT TODAY DAMMIT) and if I see my bed I'm done for.  

Here are some pictures to make up for it:

You will have a long and prosperous life...IN MOSCOW!

So lydia made the good point the other day that doing anything here is like being stuck inside a never ending version of the fortune cookie "in bed" game.  only, instead of adding "in bed" to the end of every statement or idea, everything i do is rounded off with a thrilling "IN MOSCOW!!" in my head.  then i proceed to giggle like a naive little 12-year-old (interestingly enough, the demographic in which the "in bed" game is most popular).  

for example, yesterday i took a shower, but not just any shower...my first shower IN MOSCOW!  right now i'm listening to sufjan stevens, but what makes it amazing is that i am listening to sufjan IN MOSCOW.

anyway, today i had a pumpkin soup adventure (...IN MOSCOW).

sasha was home working on her dissertation and after noticing my distinct lack of activities, asked me if i wanted to make something for lunch (she knows i love to cook).  i jumped at the opportunity to put off studying russian (oh my i need to review) and immediately found a recipe for pumpkin apple soup on eatingwell.com.  i grabbed the pumpkin that sasha offered, and started trying to hack away at it.  

however, i quickly found that this was no ordinary pumpkin.  this pumpkin was HARDCORE.  i stabbed it over and over all horror-movie style, and microwaved it...to no avail.  then i stabbed it some more.  as i did this, i began to think of the trials of the typical russian pumpkin.  

this pumpkin knew how to survive a russian winter.  this pumpkin was bred from the stock that managed to live and reproduce, while napoleon's army perished.  this pumpkin outlasted the french army!!!

oh my god...i was now hellbent on hacking up this pumpkin.  i knew that within the next hour or so, one of us was going to be made into a soup- and to be honest, there was a concerning period when the answer as to who it was was unclear.

finally i managed to overpower the pumpkin...the pumpkin that overpowered the french army...

i had done what the french army had failed to!!!

(...ok don't think about that one too hard...)

anyway, the pumpkin turned into a delicious soup, and you can find the recipe here: http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/pumpkin_apple_soup.html

fun side note: as i was hacking away at the pumpkin, lydia and lena and i were chatting on line, trying to come up with dirty variations of famous individuals' names (i think the conversation started as a discussion of unlikely "sexy halloween costume" themes).  below are some of the best:  

e.m. floreplay-ster

John Milf-ton

Horace mann-handler

Derobespierre

the others were also excellent, but probably too dirty for the internet (HAH).  

i think we discovered a new film genre with lots of potential- historical fiction pornos.

(mad props to lydia and lena.)

Мы с Честором (Me and Chester)

Chester joined me for coffee this morning.

Faceoff

...and love

Chestor is, linguistically, quite an interesting fellow.  He understands the commands "sit" and "lie down" in Russian ("сиди!" and "лежи!"), but when you want him to get up the command is "UP!"

I skyped with Lena and Lydia this morning, and Lydia and I have decided that in the future all our pets will be bilingual.

I BEG TO DIFFER

(found this in the Skylife magazine on Turkish Airlines)

Text on the left says:

“Turkish hazelnut comes up with nice flavour and delicious taste.  It makes you strong obtaining energy you need and satisfies your soul.”

That is a seriously weighty claim, my turkish friends.

GAME CHANGER...again!!!

it looks like blogspot allows for commenting better.  so here's the first post that i wrote before:

hey guys,

i’ve decided to make this blog now about my adventures, seeing as i’m now 4676 miles away from many of the people i love (give or take a few- yeahhh i just googled the distance between new york and moscow.  and no, i had no idea before i did that).

anyway, the concept of blogs, especially in the case where i’m not on some “awesome-study-abroad-cultural-learning-adventure!!!” always seemed sort of self-indulgent.  however, with franny’s promise that she would write me blog love notes, i couldn’t refuse.  feel free to read as you will.  also i will try to write with some capital letters soon.  maybe.  no promises.  also if you read please respond! think of this more as a conversational type of space.

ooo also i’ll have an excuse to post all the pictures i want!!! added boooonuuuus!

——————-

anyway.  so right now i am tucked into a cozy bed on the top floor of my stepsister’s house in a little community outside of moscow central-city.  its 8:23am here and 12:35am for most of you guys.  just 32 hours ago, after saying goodbye to mom and jesse, i boarded a flight bound for istanbul.  the following is an account between that time and now:

landed in istanbul,

ate (or tried to eat) everything in the airport that had the prefix “turkish” (turkish icecream MAY have been stretching it)

drank copious amounts of turkish coffee

eventually boarded a flight for moscow

curled up into a strange contorted position and fell asleep on the shoulder of a rather corpulent russian man

landed in russia

skipped the x-ray at customs, thanks to the formidable sizes of the suitcases i was carrying

was picked up by misha (sasha’s husband) 

greeted at the house by the joyous, bilingual dog chester (or честор), who barked his head off despite mishas’ gentle commands of “тихо, тихо” (quiet, quiet).

got excited hugs and stories from xenia and alex, step-niece and -nephew

ate a delicious dinner of pork, zucchini, and brown rice that sasha had made and listened to xenia’s tales of the absurd expectations of highschool teachers

emailed the people who would have contacted the police if i hadn’t (cough cough MOM)

began Винни Пух (winnie the pooh in russian)

crashed SO HARD it wasn’t even funny (10 pm)

————

sooo here i am, monday morning in bed. now i’ll be off to make some oatmeal and coffee (sasha is going to teach me how to use the cappuccino machine this evening!) and figure out something reasonably productive to do with myself.  i’m thinking that i’ll go into the school on wednesday to check it out, meet with teachers, etc., but until then it’s all about wrapping my head around my new reality.  which is SO EXCITING…and so strange and new and everything.  

До скорого, друзья!